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Being the Source of Value
HeartStart to Your Week, Monday, June 16th
Free Conference Call
I remember sitting at the dining room table when I was six years old with a legal pad in front of me, and the Sears Catalogue to my right. I was going through the toy section, one page at a time. Circling what I wanted for my birthday and Christmas (my birthday is the day before Christmas), the list on the legal pad grew, and next to each item, a page number and cataolgue id code to make sure Santa Claus knew where to get me what I wanted.
The conditioning starts early on to make life for getting what we want- which leads to forgetting what we really want. As we become enticed with things, relationships, career identities, goals, it is easy to forget why we wanted those things in the first place. The reason we want anything is the hope of the great feeling we think it will give us. Most of us think that feelings, good or bad, happen to us as a result of our circumstances. If I get what I want, then I will be happy, or at peace, or content. If I don't get what I want, then I won't. And we play out this script as if it were true, when at some fundamental level we know that not only are we betraying ourselves with this charade- we are creating a lot of stress for others, too.
All you have to do is have one bad hair day for no reason, and one good hair day for no reason, to realize that emotions don't happen to us as a result of circumstances. We are, in fact, the source of emotion- the energy in motion flowing through us. Researchers from HeartMath have discovered that positive feelings (like those I thought I would experience if Santa would just bring me everything on my wish list) create and come from a uniquely ordered pattern in the heart rhythm which effects everything else in the body from brain to bones. Mood is a function of our internal state, not the presents under the tree. HeartMath tools, and the emWave, help us access the feel good whether we get what we think we want, or not. This is great news- it frees us up to let go of pursuing what think we want (since we already feel great!) , and allows us to make a life for giving (and forgiving), rather than for getting and forgetting. "Fyera" is an unconditionally good feeling, that comes from within your own heart, where your cup overflows from the inside out and you become a source of value to your world.
When we enter into an experience asking ourselves, "What's in it for me? What can I get out of this situation?" we are for getting, and that means forgetting why we are here and who we really are.
This life was not made for getting value. It was made for being the value. I remember the first time I woke up to this possibility. It was in the bathroom (am I the only one that has regular flashes of heart insight in the bathroom?). For some measure of a millionth time in this life I ripped off a piece of toilet paper, and it felt new. Like I was doing it for the first time. Because I had this strange awareness that it mattered how I ripped the toilet paper. Not that it would stop a war, or change the outcome of global warming, but just that I could do it with a sense of gratitude to have the toilet paper, and I could tear it with a sense of peace instead of taking it for granted that it was there and tearing it with entitlement.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, the whole world looked different to me. Suddenly, I could see that where I had been studying to pass my exams and get my degree and then my license in order to experience peace of mind, I could actually bring peace of mind right here right now, to the process of studying! Instead of doing something to get peace, I could be peace. Where I had been dating to try to find love, I realized I could be love. Right now. Love for the bouganvilla and jasmine trees in my backyard, love for myself, love for dates both pursued and rejected. I did not have to wait for Mr. Right to feel love's light. Mr. Right is right here right now, in my own heart. That was a useful trip to the bathroom!
Everywhere in life I began to see where I was looking for life to give me what I wanted, rather than appreciating life for giving me opportunities to be what I wanted. The irritating cell phone customer service rep was the perfect example- I wanted service and care? I could be service and care. I did not have to wait for it to show up outside of me. How strange was it that she was less irritating after I became caring towards her?! As HeartMath says, "A Change of Heart Changes Everything." Even the cell phone customer service rep.
My invitation from the heart is this: wherever you are looking to get value, from someone, some thing, or some experience- stop for a moment and ask yourself, "How could I be the value here? What value can I embody in my heart? What value can I bring to this situation?" Immediately, the giving is the receiving. For it is impossible not to experience what you choose to be. And in that moment of choice, you are free. You stop forgetting, and start forgiving and receiving. I am so grateful to the HeartMath tools for giving that choice to me.
"I looked at all the caged animals in the shelter.....the cast-offs of human society. I saw in their eyes love and hope, fear and dread, sadness and betrayal. And I was angry. "God," I said, "this is terrible! Why don't you do something?" God was silent for a moment and then He spoke softly. "I have done something," He replied. "I created you."
Jim Willis 1999
"We must be the change we want to see in the world."
Tune in to this Monday's HeartStart call to learn more, or click here to register for our next free beginner webinar.
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Fyera! Beginner HeartMath Workshop
For people who are either looking to get the edge in their performance, struggling with all different types of stressors, or have loved ones who are, can benefit from the Fyera! Beginner HeartMath Workshop.
In the Beginner HeartMath Workshop taught at Fyera! you will
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Fyera is a registered trademark of Sheva Carr. HeartMath is a registered trademark of the Institute of HeartMath. Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved.