Inner Security vs Insecurity: The Heart's GPS can Release the Stressful Need for External Approval and Validation.
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Have you ever hit a fork in the road or faced a decision where your heart was pulling you one way, and people around you or religions or past experience pulled you another? Then this interview with Intermediate HeartMath graduate Debra Hawley is for you!
I recently found the diary that I kept during my first visit to volunteer at HeartMath 12 years ago. At the time, I was so completely stressed out I could not even remember my own phone number or social security number on the volunteer application form. I had many people in my life, everyone from well meaning parents and teachers to psychics and metaphysical channelers, all telling me what was best for me and what I should do to get well and to lead a productive life. In particular, there was a "healer" that told me if I was going to regain my physical and mental health it would only happen by converting to Judaism (!). This bewildered my "One World, One Heart" sense of values, and left me feeling more lost and confused.
After a few days volunteering at HeartMath, immersed in their caring culture with people from many different religious and ethnic backgrounds, I felt at home in my own heart. And, I remembered my telephone number too! HeartMath research shows us that stress shuts down the thinking brain, which explains why the more stressed we get about situations, the harder it is to think clearly or hear our own guidance within them. Tools that we teach in our Beginner HeartMath webinar here at Fyera! help to bring order to the heart rhythm, which allows us to perceive situations more clearly and tune our station to the signal of intelligence which operates like a GPS in our heart. The heart's "GPS" can always guide us toward a more fulfilling and healthy life, one that is aligned with our personal values, from the inside out. After a few days at HeartMath, here is what I wrote in my journal:
"If I do what all these other people are telling me to do, and what my own inner voice says is not in alignment with what I believe, then I will always be dependant upon what the exterior to tell me what is "right" and "wrong" because what they say is "right" feels "wrong." So even if I am wrong, I have to go with what I feel in order to live my life. I'll never be able to act confidently and truly help others if I must constantly check in with a book of rules or another person or an external authority to know if what I am doing is "right." I love this quotation: "Stop worrying. Worry is misuse of the imagination." What I have discovered here at HeartMath is that I can truly start to take responsibility for my own state of mind. From here, I can make clear decisions about who and how and what to spend time with in order to cultivate myself to be of most benefit to others. Otherwise I will constantly make choices at the whim of others hoping to lead the "perfect" life from external reference points, and I can see that will never work. I'm so grateful to have found this internal navigation system in my own heart."
One of my greatest joys in being a HeartMath Trainer is witnessing my students discovering that same sense of power within. I look forward to interviewing Debra in this HeartStart Call about her own experience with this.
I�ve been looking a lot lately at what it means to simply be me, without looking for approval of what I say, or do, or how I look, all themes that have played out quite strongly (thus far) in my life. I�ve even noticed that sometimes I�ve aimed for disapproval so I can distance myself from something I know inherently isn�t good for me, thought I feel for whatever reason I �should� be involved.
I�m reminded of a simple, yet silly process I went through about 17 years ago when I was designing my house. I decided I wanted my stove under one of two windows in my kitchen and knew I could buy a downdraft vent so functionality wasn�t an issue. What caused the discomfort was that I�d never seen such a design in all my years of looking at home design magazines and I simply couldn�t allow myself to have this oddity without outside permission. So I undertook a mission to find a picture of a stove placed under a window. It took quite a concerted effort, but eventually I found my approval and moved on with the design, something I still enjoy every time I cook.
These days I feel as though I am standing at the edge of a precipice� about to step off into a life that truly supports me, without first passing my process by the approval committee, although of course that committee is internalized in a most interesting and sometimes tricky manner. I feel as though I�m walking a tightrope of asking for inner guidance and following the heart, even when that other voice says, �you can�t do that� what will others think?�
�In reality, only the heart can ultimately give you the approval you need. The heart sends messages of approval throughout the body, through different glands, hormones, neurotransmitters, and other messenger molecules confirming your choices. But often, before they can do their work, those messages can become clouded by emotional vanity�The heart often gives us signals when we�re going a different direction than our heart intelligence would want, but we have to know how to listen to the heart�s signals. Sometimes they come as a stress feeling, an inner voice of conscience that says �no,� or in other ways that we can learn to recognize as we decipher the language of our feeling world. All of these signals from our heart intelligence are designed to align us with our core love, that which would be the highest good for ourselves and the whole, whether we understand it or not. As we learn to sense and follow the heart�s intuitive direction, we come to trust how it plays out in life. Often we cannot see the bigger picture until we go down the road. Through practice and experience, we mature in stages from insecurity based questions of our heart�s signals to secure knowing��
Overcoming Emotional Chaos,
Doc Childre & Debra Rozman, HeartMath founders
Tune in to tonight's HeartStart call to hear how one student found her inner secure knowing, and tap into your own!
- " I really can see, after only three days of practice, that HeartMath will change myy life and the lives of my family.
On Friday afternoon, I went for my infusion procedure. Every time they take myblood pressure prior to the procedure it is moderately high. On the way to the procedure, I started practicing my HeartMath, �HeartFocus�- �Heart Breathing�-�HeartFeeling�. When they took my pressure it was more that 40 points lower then usual. I was amazed.
The second story is even more rewarding to me. My husband and I were shopping, and after 15 minutes, he started feeling his usual waves of pain and then nausea from the pain. He fell off a roof several years ago, and is periodically incapacitated with pain.We usually quickly check out and get home so he can take his pain meds and lie down in his hospital bed. I have shared HeartMath with him. I may not be as great a presenter as Sheva but I got the point through to him. I held his hand and reminded him about Heart Focus, Breathing, and Feeling. We did it together, �entrainment�. After a couple of moments, the pain passed. I kept reminding him to breathe. We finished shopping. This has never happened before. He always gets sick and has to lay down when the pain comes on.
I do not know how I can thank you. you have my Heartfelt gratitude."
- F., from an HMO based in San Diego that received a corporate HeartMath training for their staff
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